he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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