hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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