? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
