He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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