Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
