Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
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How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
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He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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