Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
