Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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