I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
