let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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