hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
