why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize