My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
