Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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