I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize