told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
