That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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