He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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