evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
