well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
