Midget sex pt 2 tonight
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize