I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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