Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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