She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
