It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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