Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Why is there bacon in the couch?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
