i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize