Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize