I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
