would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
