Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
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