When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
