yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
