Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
