OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
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I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
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She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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