I skipped work to stalk him.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
