ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
