i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
