Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
