He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
