How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
