ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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