We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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