the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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