Me. At least after what I've been through.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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