hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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