i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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