One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
