Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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