ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
pray to the hookup gods
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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