ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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