Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
