I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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