When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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