if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just blew my weed a kiss
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
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