I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
he told me I talked like a deaf person
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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