i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
