she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
