I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
