I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
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You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
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Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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