I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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