Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
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