porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
