The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
